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I'm trying to be strong and just deal with what I've lost now, but it's hard...I want to go back on everything so badly, but I don't think I'd do any good if I did that.

I can't be around if she doesn't care anymore, I don't think I could bare it anymore than I can bare spending all my time alone staring at my stupid computer screen wondering when I'll get to be not-so-alone anymore.

It's something I have to get used to...she doesn't want me to be around because of how I am, because I get angry, even though I feel when I do get angry, I have a reason to be annoyed...

Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know....I really don't feel like I am.

I can't always just keep going back and ruining things for others, so I have to stick to this....as much as I hate it.
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I hate being here. Nothing bad happened regarding it, I just can't stand staying home anymore, I feel like shit just coming home now. Yesterday was such a shitty day at work after I woke up and read Tarah's email.

It was the best start to a day that wasn't so great. I guess that means that she and I are completely over now. We're nothing, we're not friends, we're not even people who know each other anymore. She's a stranger to me, and I should forget her and remove her from my life before her memory causes me any more pain than it already is.

I should delete her, I should remove everything relating to her from every aspect of my life. I have no purpose to have that Passport now except as another form of ID, big deal.

We aren't going to be anything, not now. The inclusion of the word toxic in her email, reminded me of how bad we were, and put us next to her and that dip shit, Travis.

If she actually reads this, which she won't I'm sure. She's deleted me from her life like I'm going to end up doing, I guess. No one has ever made me wish I hated them, except for her now. I wish I hated her. I wish I hated you Tarah. I wish I could curse your existence and forget about you, I wish you could be nothing to me, I wish I could hope terrible things happened to you because of how you constantly made me feel...but I can't.

We're done. We're not going to be together, we're not going to be in each other's lives, I refuse to be like Travis, I hate being compared to him anyways.

We're nothing Tarah.

It's time for us to get used to it.

Current Mood: numb numb

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So I'm sitting around tonight playing Mario Kart DS on Wi-Fi, taking a break from trying to get double to triple stars on the Grand Prix. I play on the Regional server against whoever I can to get practice in races, and all I played against tonight were pansies. So I'm racing for a while and I manage to increase my win record without increasing my loss record, and I take a break at that point.

When I come back to play later on on the Regional server, after waiting forever to connect, I get into a game with 3 other people, two with low records and one with 74 wins. I figured that if nothing else it would be a good occasion to battle it out with the high win record player in a few levels. First stage was Delfino Square and right off the bat, I was up in the front, and to my amazement...I stayed up in front and got first place from the track. Then we played at Choco Mountain and after getting beaten down pretty bad in the middle of the race and ending up behind the Luigi player, I came from behind and slid my way past the finish line with another first place finish. I believe we got stuck playing Delfino Square again, and like before I blew them all away.

Comes down to one more race, and we'd already lost one person from a D/C. About halfway through Mario Circuit, and we lose the high ranking player. And just about right before I manage to cross the finish line...the last guy disconnects. While I understand that there's a chance that the DS's battery life ended at that point and required a recharge, I find it incredibly unlikely that it happened to everyone. So the only possibility is that they chickened out and didn't want to negatively effect their win records.

Now due to the fact that the 4 race game has to finish before your records can be updated, I gained nothing for my 4 wins. What the hell is wrong with people now-a-days? They think they can just opt out of things because they're losing?

I don't run away from people because I'm getting my ass kicked in something, I stick with it and try my best. Even if I know I'm going to lose, the chance of going up against people better than me keeps me motivated to try harder and learn, grow, and eventually try a rematch with them. People now just want a record. They want to be seen as better than others with the statistics, but because of the system that records the victories, there is a chance that there will be plenty of losses as well as wins from people because they just run away and they think that they're unaffected from it.

It's not just Mario Kart though, I know that people in Counter Strike do it, as well as other online versus games, just so their precious win record isn't damaged.

A record isn't about winning or losing. A record is an example of the experience that a person has or has not gone through. For example, in the NFL people can't just decide that their team doesn't want to play a game anymore and go on without any possible negative repercussions as a result. A team cannot quit just because they're scared of losing and possibly not going to the Superbowl. No, the game has to continue because there's always another chance next week, or tomorrow, or whenever the hell the next game for that team happens to be.

There's a difference between online gaming and public gaming though. In a public gaming situation, others will see your play, they will know if you won a game or if you lost that game. If you quit in the middle, it's called a forfeit and you gave up all rights to win that game and you deserve a big fat 1 added on to your loss record as a result.

In online gaming, you have no one watching you most of the time and you can simply run away to avoid tarnishing your precious record. While I know it's not that big a fucking deal, who is teaching the "said" idiots in this case? Are there a group of parents telling their children that if something gets hard you can just quit? You can't fucking quit, if you do you'll be labeled a wuss, and while I'm sure it won't, it SHOULD follow you for the rest of your life if you decided to run away from something because you aren't winning.

The people that I played against make me fucking sick. I would spit on each and every one of them. It's people like that that while they have the priviledge to game, don't have the right to do it. It's something you should have to earn through your actions. If you're a weasel-like pussy who runs at the sight of a challenge....then you should throw your consoles, handhelds, and whatever else you play with in a possible competitive atmosphere away.

I hate fucking pussies like that...

Current Mood: angry angry

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In the period of time that I've borrowed Josh's DS Lite, I've managed to complete all of his games with nearly perfect ratings. While I've still got Hard mode to finish in Megaman ZX and 2-3 star rankings with Ghost times to beat in Mario Kart, I'd say that I've done pretty well with the short time I've had it.

It's an Onyx Black DS Lite and it's glossy when closed. If anyone knows the effects of fingers on glass, which everyone should, it causes the handheld to be covered in fingerprints almost continuously, which isn't really that attractive. I'm not sure if the white one is any better in this respect, but that's the one that I want. White > Black in gaming equipment. It'll match my GBA too which is a plus.

When you open the DS up you have a screen which attracts dust and the touch screen...which does too, yet is harder to wipe some of it away on. I'm not sure what you can use to clean the damned thing either, but I'll find out when I get one of my own. Luckily the inside is a rougher plastic without the annoying glossy effect that the outer coating has, and I think it would have looked alot better just to make the entire DS lite in that...but they didn't.

The buttons are alot smaller than I would have made them and their so close together that anyone with bigger hands is probably going to have a hard time adjusting to it when playing certain games. It's not the most comfortable feeling trying to dash off a wall with A in Megaman while holding Y for a charge blast. The regular DS clearly has the lite beaten in that respect. The edges are somewhat sharp on the system as well, but it all depends on how you hold the thing, so unless you're retarded...you won't cut yourself.

The backlight is very nice and you can dim it in the Main DS menu screen with just a touch in the lower left corner, so anyone complaining about the incredibly bright light can adjust it to their own personal settings depending on the location of game-play. I found that I needed it to be brighter while it was light and dimmer when it was dark in the room of gaming to keep my eyes from straining to look at the screen.

None of the three games that I've tested out so far use the touch screen to the fullest though.
New Super Mario Bros uses it just to hold and use secondary items. It also functions as a map and shows you which star coins that you've found in a level. When you go down pipes, you sometimes view the bottom screen too, but these are just for appearances and you don't really touch it for that.
Mario Kart uses it as an alternate form of menu surfing, a way to draw an emblem, or a way to change your map style while you're racing. The only time you HAVE to use the touch screen though and actually touch it is for the Map purposes though, as everything else can be done with the traditional D-Pad.
Megaman ZX barely uses the fucking thing at all, well at least as a touch screen. The Lx, Px, and Hx livemetals each use it as an extra screen of sorts. Lx does a very basic map of your immediate location and the mini-cyber elf shows you where items are, relative to where you are. Px is a radar, showing you all hidden locations as well where enemies are located with a -!- mark. Hx is just a scanner for enemies and shows you their weakpoint, if any, and how much life that they have left. Fx uses it regarding it's firing controls in the only time that the touch screen is used, and I barely used Fx at all because it was so seemingly useless to me. Hu model shows a design of sorts, and the X, Zx, and Ox models just show a blue screen with the words "M.E.G.A System" on it. Capcom...you lazy fucks.

The sound is crisp and nice, and the graphics are superb for a handheld at least. There are hardly any games existing in english though that I consider worth the money to buy a DS for. Mario Kart DS with the Wi-Fi racing would likely be all that I wanted to get until Pokemon Diamond and Pearl is released in this region, however that game alone is enough reason for me to get this system.

It's worth the money, I just lack the funds to get one. When I've got extra green to blow, I'll consider getting it.
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So, I set Josh's DS to my Internet connection tonight and played my first game of Mario Kart DS on Wi-Fi. I played 3 games. The first game was my very first time and I went up against Mr. Bunny who selected Yoshi, and another guy who didn't stick around long enough to remember who used Wario. For my first time I played with Bowser using the ROB-BLS kart.

First track we played at was DK Pass, and while I started off pretty decently, Mr. Bunny caught up and won in the end, where I got second place. All in all for that round of play, I got second and Mr. Bunny got first.

After that, the Wario player bailed and it was just Bunny and me. Since I was only playing around the first time, I selected Toad with the Egg-1 Kart. In the end however, I lost by 10 points. Which isn't so bad considering you get 10 points for a victory and 5 for second place finish when there are only two people. I won one of those games and the final score was Mr. Bunny - 35. Me - 25. I have a feeling that he wasn't giving it his all as he seemed to be a pretty good Snaker, if he was snaking...I think he was.

Then I used Mario with the Standard ROB Kart and though I certainly tried my best, I was bested again by the Yoshi player with the awesome Bunny emblem. I wonder if Tarah's friend Bunny has a DS...No wait, I selected Regional, so it couldn't have possibly been him that I played against. That would have been neat though. The Bat-Emblem wouldn't give in however...

I played one last round with him and we both selected Peach, him with the Dry Bomber and myself with the Egg-1. I hate to pick "High Tier" karts all the time, but ehh. This time I put all my effort into it and at the end of a grueling battle for first, we tied. 25-25. While I could have continued after that, I chose to quit and savor the experience instead of over-do it. For the record though, the Standard ROB Kart is definitely not the best choice for a Middle Weight like Mario, and next time I'll be more serious about that.

Ahh that certainly did make the night a little better.

On another note, I think I might have pissed Tarah off with my lack of interest in the presidential candidates tonight. I can't help how I feel though, and I believe that if someone is so in the dark about something the entire country knows and yet she still doesn't realize that her husband is cheating on her...with a new intern...every few weeks/months...that she's going to be incapable of noticing anything else concerning this country.

Sure, maybe my opinion about it is completely one sided and doesn't take into account what she plans to do, but a person's actual experiences with the people around them counts a lot into the kind of person that they are. If someone isn't going to realize something that everyone knows but them, what is going to happen when something threatens the country with something? Is she going to not notice it and focus on other things? I'll look into candidates and other stuff regarding it when more is easily accessible. It doesn't change the fact that I still don't really give a rat's ass about the president right now though.

Who the fuck is running this year anyways?

Current Mood: accomplished

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Hello and good evening. My name is Trey, and this is my Live Journal and I'll most likely forget that I have this sometime next week.

I finally did it, I finally made a bloggish profile. After shunning Myspace, as I hate Myspace, and Tom from there...fucking stalker, I've created this handy dandy little journal so that I could write things down to entertain myself and others...probably just myself. I'll be commenting on whatever comes to my mind before writing...as do most writers, so sit back, kick back with a soda or something hard and enjoy.

It's 2007 and dispite all sorts of technological achievements, we're still all very bored on the toilet. It's a place of business, isn't it? Go in, squat, grunt, growl, deficate, wipe, leave. That's pretty much all you get to do in there. Oh sure, you could take a book into the bathroom, but that's too much concentration and you'll most likely read a few lines or stuggle to not drop your bookmark into the water of doom below your ass.

You could also carry with you a Magazine, but it's not likely that there are any magazines worth reading. Seventeen? Hunting? Walking? Gamepro? EGM? Fuck that.

For those of us that refuse to submit to the clenched bowels of the devil toilet, we take some form of Video gaming in with us, this is called Shittertainment ©.Portable gaming though, even though it's easily transportable, the games tend to make you play longer than you want to, don't they? Portable Fighting games, RPG's, Platformers, Sports (If anyone actually plays those, and I feel sorry for you if you do.) and such all take way too long to play on a casual trip to the make a deposit to the sewer system of your choice.

Ahh, but fear not. A savior has been born. A savior with overalls and a mustache. Mario has come to save you from your perils on the pot with a little Go-Kart action from Nintendo.

Mario Kart DS is the winner of the 2005/2006 Trey-co bathroom companion award. Just about everything you can do in this little game takes just about as long as a typical trip to the john. In a typical Mario Kart fashion, you select a character from Nintendo's Mario franchise to act as your driver, select one of up to 7 karts for that character to drive (Unlockable), and your off in either Grand Prix, Time Trial, Battle, or Mission mode.

If the default "Nitro Grand Prix" wasn't enough though, old school fans will love the "Retro Grand Prix" which combines levels from each of the previous games. (Arcade Mario Kart GP not included.) There are many favorite levels from older games, as well levels that could have been left out in my opinion. Baby Park could have easily been replaced with a more entertaining level, but alas.

New items, unlockable characters and the ability to choose a multitude of Karts per character make each gaming experience truly unique as any one character can drive something different that feels completely different each time you play.

And unlike other portable games, this game's Grand Prix mode as well as the others take about as long to finish as it does to finish your business, wipe , and get the hell out of there. It takes the perfect amount of time, unless you happen to suck at Mario Kart, in which case...I'm not talking to you.

Asides from the basic one player mode, you have a multiplayer mode that can be played with up to 8 other DS's in the same place using the wireless linking of the DS. On top of that, you don't even NEED to have more than one Mario Kart DS card to play with up to 8 different people. While your character selection and tracks are limited because of that, I'm sure, it's still a great way to play with a friend or test the game out without needing to have it.

The game also utilizes a Wi-Fi connection to allow you to play with people all over the world. You can either play somewhere with a Wi-Fi connection, or there are places online you can learn to set your own up. Many people dislike online play because of something called "Snaking", which is essentially Power Slide boosting multiple times on a straight-away from the left to right again and again, and vice-versa. Those people are usually the ones that get beaten by people that have mastered the technique though, and if something's put into a game that ISN'T a cheat, and everyone can do it no matter which character/kart you select, then there's no reason to complain. Either learn it or stop playing online.

On top of those options, there's an Emblem creator that allows you to draw your own special emblem to put on your kart using the DS stylus pen. I've seen people drawing classic character sprites, logo's, and exceptional art. (Given the size limitations of the emblem) This helps to add a feeling of uniqueness to each player's kart in the Wi-Fi and multiplayer modes, even if they all use the same character/kart. Unfortunately, you can only save one emblem at a time and to make another you have to over-write it. This isn't a big problem, especially since emblem creation is only a small part of a pretty big game. (For the size of the card at least)

Adding all the pluses of the game together, Mario Kart DS is a truly fun experience. Whether you're in the car on a ride, (Driving the car not with-holding) spending time with boring family, just playing to play, or sitting on the shitter, everyone can enjoy this game. (Unless they hate Mario Kart...which...well...fuck you.)

Give it a try, I'm sure you'll agree that this game is great.

Shittertainment © LeonDimas
Trey-co Award Presentations © Trey-co
Mario Kart DS © Nintendo
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